Of course, that means I gotta finish off Thunder Bluff to Exalted. Gah.

And Ahimdylaw, of course a Paladin should have the Argent Champion title, right? So now I figure out how to get Argent Dawn rep in this day and age.

It’s what I get for not caring about rep while it was relevant, I guess.

So anyway, it turns out you can purchase WotLK faction rep with Justice Points: 520 rep per 16 points, as a matter of fact. So I turned my measly ~160 points into a 1/2 way to Revered status, and I’ll finish the rest off while doing the Argent Dawn stuff in Eastern Plaguelands. That’s fitting, I think. I’m going to enjoy it.

Oh, how I can relate.

I named my Doomguard “Bob.” I thought that would bring us a little closer, and I’d remember to bring him out more often. It doesn’t really work that way.

I secretly love it in dungeon groups when the tank and healer bite it (because as soon as one goes down, the other will be right behind), then the other two dps die, and I, having Soul Burned myself an Instant Tank, am able to be the last one standing for the boss kill (like, four minutes later, because you can solo-kill a boss at level, but you can’t do it quickly — you must apply one DoT and keep it refreshed while alternately Health Funneling your Void, Shattering and dusting your monitor or filling this month’s paid bills).

That entire paragraph above is one sentence. Even with the parenthetical aside.

I especially love the above scenario when I’ve recently taken shit for my crap dps.

That having been said, I can’t PvP on my Warlock worth a fuck. Never could.

I once transferred Mal to another server to play with friends, and found out they were playing Alliance. I had to faction-change her and was forced to pick Human (because it was pre-Cata, there were no Worgen yet, and Gnome? I mean, come on).

Human Mal was always way stupider than Undead Mal.

The first step was to make new toons for the sole purpose of nabbing their starting gear. First up, Crazyhairlock gave me her starting Goblin Warlock dress. I sent her a gold piece to help her with the expenses, and deleted her as soon as I got the dress out of the mail. There’s not a whole lot that sadder than a naked Goblin.

Next, Gobbypriest sent me the same outfit, only in blue. Cute, huh?

Don’t worry, I’ve got the blue Acolyte Staff on the way to her so it’ll coordinate.

Next, a series of Warlocks for additional red robes and dresses, including the Belf and Troll. I have to say, it was rather fun making all these ‘Locks and seeing what Imps they managed to summon from the nether. The Goblin’s imp was Pagyap, which my mind immediately translated as “Paypal.” The Troll’s Imp was named Kuptai, and wow, that one was almost too cute to delete. Her staff didn’t have anything on the Belf one, tho, so BOOM, back to the nether with you both.

Finally, a couple of Undead ladies, for the green Mage and red Warlock robes. That should help fill my closet up considerably. The Warlock robe for UD, beeteedubya, is the traditional one from vanilla. Hawt.

Isn't it awesome that Undead wake up with this buff?

Finally, the Alliance starting robes. Rather than start making and killing Allie toons,  and trying to neutral AH all the stuff over, I thought I’d send Mal on a trip to the Old Hillsbrad Foothills. Caverns o’ Time, sweetness, get after it.

Well, hello Thomas! I've been waiting for -- wait, that sounds creepy.

While on this little side mission, I decide to take out Don Carlos on heroic mode. Might as well get the souvenir hat, don’t you think?

After that, I talked D and his friend into helping me clear some old BC raid content for tier pieces for Mal. She got the Voidheart Robe to match the Crown already in Void Storage, but neither the shoulders nor the legs dropped for her. Stupid Gruul and Maulgar.

Tonight we’re gonna stop the crap out of Kara again, so D can finish off his Tier 4 Druid set. I’m hoping my Glove token drops from Curator, too.

I’m sooo feeling you. My ‘Lock has been my main since 2006, when I began playing. She’s the one who has the achievements, the pet collection, the mount collection, the reputations, the titles. She has an amazing collection of hats, too, now that I think about it, and beer steins in every color of the rainbow.

Warlock in emotional turmoil

I think Cata really did twist the class into something that just isn’t that compelling anymore. It used to be, when I went to a new server, I made an Afflock first. Because I love them.

Now? Malarea is firmly Destruction, pulls substandard dps in dungeons and raids, has zero fun in PvP, and gets logged onto once in a while for a Holiday or to enchant something for the Hub.

I think the only way to save her would be for Blizz to introduce class transfers. I mean, why the hell not, at this point? I could make her a Male Human with a different name on another server; the class is the only thing I can’t change. And that makes me really sad, because I love her. We just don’t have that much in common anymore.

*wanders off to consider player-toon counseling*

Aggrammar: This is the server where I began, because my daughter’s boyfriend was the one who got me into WoW, and this is where he played. That one explanation caused a total chain reaction in which I dragged several members of my favorite GameFAQs board to the game and server. This even includes some members who had already been playing WoW, and had fully developed stables of toons elsewhere. Regardless, we all came together in Aggrammar and we built a small friends-and-family guild. We had more alts than accounts, and we did a lot of leveling, dungeons and group quests. Yeah, this was back in Vanilla when there WERE group quests you couldn’t just solo with a pet class and a health pot.

Eventually, however, the queues became intolerable and we made the collective decision to move to Nesingwary with free transfers for all. I left behind one lonely toon, a level 12 Orc Shaman, who is the GM of our old guild: Beyond Good and Evil.

During that same period, some of us choose to see how the other half lived and created Alliance toons on the Dalaran server. Why Dalaran? Because one of the longest-playing members already had a pretty full stable there, and resources like bags and gold are nice for the beginning toons.  A few stayed, and still maintain a guild there. I’ve got a few toons still there myself, including the highest level Shaman I’ve thus far managed to grow: she’s 31, and a Draenei.

Then, there was the WoWInsider guild on Zangarmarsh, for events and such. This was back when I still harbored some hope that I’d eventually write for them, so I created a couple of toons there. Lachenrohl is a little Belf ‘Lock and Mahmi is an Orc something or other, I disremember exactly. She was only made for the purpose of a Mother’s Day event.

D and I became curious about RP servers, and if the communities there would be more like those of LotRO. We made a few toons on Wyrmrest, mainly Horde, and I have to say I really loved my little Troll Druid, Zazarah. That’s also where I leveled a new Undead ‘Lock, Preshyus, so I could experience the new leveling zones in Cataclysm. Silverpine was EPIC, y’all. That’s also where I made my first Worgen, but oh did I struggle with that one. I had to RP her as a Horde spy, because I was far too emotionally invested in Lady Sylvannas after dragging Preshyus through the opposite side of that storyline.

Finally, I’ve lately washed back up on the Alliance server of a long-time friend and WoW player. Regrettably, she’s no longer there. I rolled here to play with D, who rolled here to play with another friend, and I just transferred and faction-changed my Pally so I’d have an 80+ available for the guild events. The guild here is just amazing, full of fun and social people who truly enjoy one another’s company and refuse to be assholes. That in itself is quite astonishing. My only bitch here so far is that no one in this guild gets my toon names, even though they are all amazing and creative and brilliant.

So, where do you have abandoned alts from relationships and experiments that just didn’t work out?

Anyway, we’re talking about WoW, right? Yeah. I DID have a chance to dungeon the other day, and this is what resulted:

I totally LOVE the Egyptian-themed lore and design of this dungeon. In fact, in all of Uldum! Have you had any trouble with these bosses? How did you handle it?

Even though we get the Imp and Void earlier now, the Succubus still doesn’t become available for control until we reach our 20th season. That’s cool, because about the only thing she’s good for in PvE nowadays is her Seduce ability. That comes standard with your demon wench.

"Do these hooves make me look fat?"

The first thing you want to do with your new demon is to turn her Lesser Invisibility off of auto-cast. She’s only going to need this if you’re PvPing, and then only if you like to park a minion on the flag and prepare to Seduce attackers from afar. She’s also a mouthy little thing, so you might want to go into your Sound options and turn off pet noises.

Depending upon how you’re specced, she may be the best dps pet for your level. If you’re running dungeons, and the Imp’s Stamina buff isn’t needed, you might as well pull her out for some extra mob-lashing. At level 25 you can Glyph your Fear ability, making it useful in dungeons, and then you probably won’t need the CC ability your Succubus can provide.

All in all, there’s not a whole lot of new stuff with Miss Thang, although she is still pretty fun to watch. There are some Demonology talents a little further down the pike that will make her much better but for now, she’s just your CC from levels 20-24.

From the updated PTR Patch 4.0.6 notes:

Fel Armor has been redesigned. It now surrounds the caster with fel energy, increasing spell power and causing the warlock to be healed for 3% of any single-target spell damage he or she deals.

Now THAT is a change I can get behind. Doesn’t have to be a passive regen, I’ll take 3% of my single-target damage. That should be plenty to cover my ‘tapping. Let’s just hope that this is the version that makes into live.

Go respec.

Do you refuse to tank and or heal because you don’t think you’re good enough?

Go respec, then practice.

Do you complain about the queue times EVEN THOUGH you play a class capable of tanking and / or healing, and refuse to tank and / or heal and are therefore deliberately being part of the problem?

Go uninstall.

Do you refuse to tank and or heal because you lack thumbs?

Okay, you get a pass, but you might want to think about re-rolling. Hunters are fun.

Have you ever rolled “Need” on a tank or healer item, against the tank or healer?

Seriously, uninstall. Then rip off your own arm and use it to smash your computer into tiny pieces.

Do you drop group if you wipe (or even personally die) once on the first boss? On trash?

Get over yourself, you’re not magically “better” than anyone else. In fact, chances are that the asshole who caused that wipe was you.

Okay, who’s left? Approximately three dps for every tank and healer combo? Awesome. Let’s queue up.

Fel Armor now increases the warlock’s maximum mana by 10% instead of regenerating health.

What? OMG, WHAT?? Okay, so I LifeTap myself between fights, and then I have to what, sit and eat? Why freakin’ tap at all, then? Why not sit and drink like a Priest, or a Godforsaken MAGE? Oh, wait, Mages don’t have to drink, they can Evocate. And they can glyph Evocate to replenish BOTH health and mana. WHAT???

This shall not stand.

Okay, what else? While I’m already devastated, bring it on.

Okay, if you insist. Felstorm (Felguard) damage has been reduced by 20%.

GAH! I don’t often run in Demo, but I’ve been using it for the Tol Barad dailies since it’s so easy to get spawn-slammed in there. That really sucks. But I’m strong, I can take it, I can–

Burning Embers damage has been reduced by 15%.

What is this, piss on your favorite Warlock day? What the hell, man, surely you aren’t–

Improved Soul Fire now increases Fire and Shadow damage done by 4/8%, rather than 7/15% spell haste. In addition, this talent has been moved to tier-3 Destruction, switching places with Aftermath.

So basically, I no longer have a desire to cast Soul Fire. No more increased haste buff from it, and I’m willing to bet that the dps I lose from having to wind one of these suckers up isn’t worth the dps I gain from that piddly 4-8% increase. PLUS I can’t use it in Demo anymore. Oh you guys. Seriously.

Find Herbs, Fish, and Minerals are no longer canceled upon entering an Arena or rated Battleground.

Well, thank the gods for that, huh? Whew, I was starting to think that NOTHING positive would be coming out of this patch. Other than the opportunity to get into a regular dungeon I’ve already DONE like 5 times.

Can you see me glowing with shadow and fel rage? I’m gonna unleash this, y’all. I’m gonna let ‘er rip. Here it comes.