Sunday Horoscope

Druid: Your guild votes you “Most Likely to Have a Clever Name,” which only increases the pressure for each subsequent alt to have an even more clever name, leading to an utter meltdown right in the middle of Botanica.

Hunter: Your pet will chase a runner, getting you /kicked from the group just before the final boss. Luckily it’s not a heroic and you didn’t really NEED the final boss, or anything he might have dropped.

Mage: You’ve been dreaming about that new non-combat pet for ages. There’s no time like the present, and no class better suited to mass-AoE-farming. Grab some mana oil, whip up a couple of stacks of water, and go snag that new whelping or firefly.

Paladin: This, like every other week, is a good week to avoid other Paladins. Showing up to your PuG to discover that you have a Pally tank, a Pally healer, two ret Pallies, and they really don’t care what you want to do… Yeah, well, while typical, it’s not exactly a recipe for good loot distribution, now is it?

Priest: An amazing piece of +shadow damage gear will drop… during a run where you’ve agreed to heal. The warlock in your group makes a couple of nasty comments about shadow priests, and leaves in a huff when you insist on rolling – and WIN!

Rogue: She who Vanishes or Sprints away will live to Backstab another day. Of course, she is also berated by her opponent, but since she doesn’t speak “Common” she doesn’t really care all that much.

Shaman: Did you know that one serving of twisty Cheetos is only approximately 7 pieces? Who the hell counts the Cheetos? You have better things to do – like camping that vendor who sells the rare leatherworking pattern.

Warlock: Get over it, already, the Shadow Priest had every right to roll on +damage gear, especially when that’s her spec and she only agreed to heal this dungeon so that you all would quit spamming her with whispers.

Warrior: An ogre declares that he intends to “smash” you, “Rawr.” Isn’t that cute?

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