Too Sexy For My Horns

So… Prin finally managed to score the Viking Horns of Vicious Death, Doom, and Chaos!! Or whatever they’re called…

Sister Mal has been rocking these for a long time, now, and has pretty much scorned all other headgear as being just not sexy enough to replace it.

How to get these bad boys? Well, pull up a chair, my darlings, and I’ll spin you a yarn of Ogres and Murkbloods, of the Crypts and those freaking wandering Ancestors (who knew they’d be elites?).

Here’s the quest that awards the horns: If you don’t happen to be sporting a Shadow Priest, or other caster, you’ll notice that there are some really awesome pieces for other classes, too. You’ll also notice that the reward comes at quest #14 in what seems to be a long – yet do-able – chain, right? Hold on to your knickers, there, this quest chain doesn’t even OPEN unless you’ve completed the three – yes, THREE – prerequisite chains first. Greatmother Geyah takes a hint from Linda Evangelista and refuses to wake up for less than $10k. Or a &*^%load of quests.

Anyway – how to get started.

Introduction to the Mag’Har

Start with taking The Assassin from Nazgrel in Hellfire Penninsula. This quest line will introduce you to the small group of Mag’Har in that zone, and eventually lead you to Thrall in Orgrimmar to spread the news of his peoples’ survival.

Mess Up Some Ogres

How? Talk to Jorin Deadeye by the bonfire in Garadar to get The Impotent Leader quest. Three full sets of Ogres later you’re sent to find the Blademaster for another full chain of quests.

Get Out Your &%^$-Stirring Stick

And by that, I mean you’re going to hook up with Lantresor to cause a little trouble between the Kil’sorrow and the Warmaul Ogres. Once you’ve set both groups up for each other, take Lantresor’s message back to Garrosh. Garrosh, however, is still being a whiny little girl and it appears that he’s going to need a big smack back into reality. Hmmm…

If I Were a Mag’har Captive, Where Would I Be…?

Well, you might be Teddy Roosevelt, but you’re not. You’re in the Murkblood camp – or rather, he is – and he requires some escorting out. By you. Yes, you. Take some friends if you must, but you don’t have to escort very far and this one wasn’t as teeth-gnashingly frustrating as most escort quests. Once you’ve got him back to the road, he drops a cheerful bit of news on you and vamps.

Those happy-go-lucky Orcs in Nagrand offer a whole slew of Murkblood quests, might as well grab them up and do them all at once, since you gotta be there anyway. Mirite?

And Why Are We Taking Quests From a Night Elf, Again?

At some point, Matron Celestine will send you out to locate Altruis the Sufferer. You just know this guy is gonna be a barrel of laughs with a name like that… and oddly enough, he does chuckle a bit every time you turn in to him. Anyway, Altruis is concerned with the two demon camps nearby. Now, this chain you WILL want a couple of friends for, since it’s just frothing with elites. A drunk engineer in Shattrah helps out a bit, for an errand of his own, and shaBAM! we’re in business now!

Tell Us A Story, Greatmother

Garrosh sends you into the Inn to speak with Greatmother. If you’ve been following the lore this far, you’re really going to dig this chain. Greatmother Geyah decides to train you to be the next Miss Cleo, and explains how she’s going to teach you to communicate with the ancestors. After much hither-ing and yon-ing, you’re given the task to defeat Exarch Maladaar in Auchindoun. No problem, right? Well, no, not really, but he IS the final boss in Auchenai Crypts so you ARE going to have to put together an instance party for this part. In all the excitement after Maladaar falls you just might miss the Sha’tar D’Ore decending from the ceiling to complete your quest for you. Don’t – what a pain to have to do it over again, right?

The item D’Ore asks you to pick up is right there in the same room as Mr. Boss Man, a glowing purple crystal-thingy. Grab it. It’s time for some elite action back in Nagrand. I found the best place to nab ancestors was on the little rise just south of the Consortium camp, leading down into Oshu’Gun. Although the quest advises 3 people in a group, you can easily 2-man it with just about any party composition. And since they are susceptible to fear, I even solo’d it on my ‘lock.

Okay, then – the hard part’s finally over. Yes, finally. I didn’t say this was an easily obtainable bit of gear, now, did I? In the interest of not ruining any of the story – and you have been paying attention to the story, right? – Let’s just say that once you’re completely done, and back in Garadar, and you hear the drums… wait over by the eastern entrance to the town. Don’t leave Garadar until the show is completely over, trust me on this one.

By FAR one of the coolest quest chains ever, this quest also introduces you to D’s & my favorite NPC in the entire game: Floon. It is suggested – nay, imperative – that you call out his name in a high falsetto tone repeatedly while on that leg of chain. FLOOOOOOOOOOOONNNN!! There is no more fun to be had in WoW than this.


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