Category Archives: humor

No, you come HERE and I’ll heal you. Maybe.

I’m working on a WoW Newsletter for one of my favorite clients; this one is a monthly repeat project. March’s newsletter has a nice feature on Battlegrounds in it, which means that I need some Battleground screenshots. Which means I’m going in, cover me.

Not only will I be subjecting myself to PvP, but I’m going to have to do it on multiple characters from both factions. That’s so all my screenies don’t give the impression that WoW means playing an Undead Warlock, and nothing else. We can’t have that.

So I’m trying to put together toon-BG combinations that I know will go well. For example, no one but Ahimdylaw, the Paladin, is allowed to do Alterac Valley. Those people are just insane, and it’s not safe for the rest of my toons. ‘Law is the only character I’ve ever had any success with in AV, and that includes healers.

Now that I think about it, healing is probably the best way to do BGs. I’m not expected to fight, not really, and I can play “god” for a few minutes. What the schnitzle am I doing writing this post? I could be not healing rogues fighting in the middle! Right this second!

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In where I single-handedly solve the queue issue

Do you play a class capable of tanking and / or healing, and refuse to tank and / or heal?

Go respec.

Do you refuse to tank and or heal because you don’t think you’re good enough?

Go respec, then practice.

Do you complain about the queue times EVEN THOUGH you play a class capable of tanking and / or healing, and refuse to tank and / or heal and are therefore deliberately being part of the problem?

Go uninstall.

Do you refuse to tank and or heal because you lack thumbs?

Okay, you get a pass, but you might want to think about re-rolling. Hunters are fun.

Have you ever rolled “Need” on a tank or healer item, against the tank or healer?

Seriously, uninstall. Then rip off your own arm and use it to smash your computer into tiny pieces.

Do you drop group if you wipe (or even personally die) once on the first boss? On trash?

Get over yourself, you’re not magically “better” than anyone else. In fact, chances are that the asshole who caused that wipe was you.

Okay, who’s left? Approximately three dps for every tank and healer combo? Awesome. Let’s queue up.


Screenshot Monday – The week in review

The 'Nard Dogg doesn't bake-- I mean, mail.

 

 

The entire zone and questline of Silverpine was epic.

 

 

Oh, look! Someone's been shopping in Outland!

 

 

Preshyus is an amazing questgiver. She should totally quit her day job.

 


Hunting the ever-elusive Spider’s Silk

My name is Secretia. I am one of Sylvanas’s Forsaken. That much I know.

More importantly, I also know that I am a Death Knight, and that I had been recruited into the Lich King’s service. I have only of late regained my consciousness and control over my actions. Having shrugged off the foul Arthas’s domination, I am now also in control of my destiny.

Which, by the way, appears to be that of farming higher-level materials for a small stable of the Horde, residing on the Wyrmrest Accord server. That’s an “Arrrr-pee hotspot,” whatever THAT means.

The world is almost completely alien to me now, and I’ve heard in the capital cities that something they are calling “The Shattering” is to blame. All I know is that I woke this afternoon with a burning need to find some Spider’s Silk.

Why? I have found it best not to ask. I would have to assume, however, that m’lady Preshyus requires a new dress.  /eyeroll/

I have killed so many spiders in Stonetalon Mountains, and more in both the Arathi Highlands and in Hillsbrad. And, as happy as I was to see Southshore wiped off the map and that triumvirate of farmers (Ray, Getz, and Kalaba) fashioned into a patchwork beast, my heart remains heavy. I have found no Spider’s Silk. None. Not even that Thick kind that is virtually useless. None.

What has become of us?

 


I could totally be a GM

Watch how skillfully I handle the “outdated addons causing UI errors” plight of my guildy:

Of course, I have no idea whether or not it worked, or if that even had anything to do with her issue. And really, isn’t that the point? Yeah, I’m totally GM-material.


Typical Elitist

Priests are known for being a bit… egotistical. But we really can’t help it, we HAVE to know everything about every class. If we’re in shadowform, we have to know at what point the various tank classes can maintain aggro in the face of our uberleet dps. If we’re healing, then we need to understand both the threat generation and mitagation skills of our tank. We also need to know about the threat-dumping abilities available to the dps classes in our party. (Ahem. Do not stand next to the hunter.)

Having said that – I got the BIGGEST kick out of a post by Idialog Maiev-US on the official WoW Priest forum. I’m reading along, smiling and nodding, totally digging his droll delivery. I’m also taking mental notes here and there, since healing hasn’t really been a specialty of mine. (Healing can be fun, but it doesn’t hold a Kobold Candle to scavenging ideas ABOUT healing and then debating them with D.)

Then I get to the part about, ‘I learned a couple of days ago that there was like this spell to buff everyone at once, and I was all like, “yeah, sweet”, but then I found out it like costs money to cast, so I was all like, “oh, damn.” I ain’t payin’ to give a damn mage more hitpoints. That’s just crazy talk.’ and I was all like, whoa, maybe this isn’t as tongue-in-cheek as I thought, perhaps it’s more like satire and all of these tips are designed to get me labeled “n00b healer” and /kicked from groups…

I’d rather take a blow to the face than to the ego. Priest, you know. /shrug

So, today we got a twofer: not only am I sharing a good laugh, I’m also doing a little research on 5-man healing. Let’s see if there’s a kernel or two of truth in there.

1. Only use GH rank 7 on druid / well-geared warrior tanks. I’d be willing to agree to this, but most of the prot-pallies I’ve run with had comparable HP. Let’s say I agree with GH7 on tanks, and a down-ranked GH4 for other classes. With decent +healing that ought to keep everyone topped off and limit the amount of over-healing you do. PoM – while this is an awesome spell to toss out if your party is taking AoE damage, it’s not really a “set it and forget it” ability. Having Prayer on your tank doesn’t mean you can ignore your dps classes if / when they start taking damage.

Also, do pallies really regain mana when they receive heals? Yes, Spiritual Attunement is a passive skill available at level 18 (and upgraded to 10% at level 66). Pallies are unique to tanking classes in that they use mana instead of rage – I can’t think of any reason why you shouldn’t drop a renew on your Tankadin just before the pull. Also, the S’Priest in me drools when I think about how much love Mr. Loltank will have for my VT / VE

  • VE feeds him health with each point of shadow damage I do.
  • VT feeds him mana with each point of shadow damage I do.
  • Feeding him health (heals) feeds him even more mana due to his SA.

2. I’m going to have to play my bull**** card on this one. I’ve played all of the non-hybrid dps classes, and I’ve never had a priest refuse to buff the entire party. Yeah, it consumes quite a bit of mana before you get Prayer of Fortitude, and it consumes a reagent after, but still – it doesn’t happen.

3. Again, attitude aside, I agree. My squishy little presence isn’t going to save the day once the tank and dps buy it, so no need to take one for the team and go toes-up myself. The one nugget of wisdom here is common sense – rez the classes who can ALSO rez first.

4. Total silliness. I haven’t raided on my Priest yet, but I have taken two toons to Kara and I’ve watched D raid-heal on both a priest and a shaman. There is NO time for any dpsing as a healer. Besides, you’d be better off tossing a SW:P and then wanding.

5. Awesome. Just awesome. Rule #1 – it’s never my fault. Rule #2 – if I appear to be at fault, refer to Rule #1.

/cast Lightwell

/s Heal yourself, *****.